The sacrament of confession has always been a refuge for me in my journey of life. In fact, this wonderful time of reconciliation has repeatedly reminded me of my God’s saving plan for me even when I am surrounded by my wretched sins. It gives me joy to call this a sacrament of mercy and grace every time I realize the amount of mercy flowing over my sins followed by a mountain of strength and grace to overcome those sinful tendencies in the journey ahead.
Recently I happen to observe in myself, a kind of laziness to go for confession. I was developing some tendency of delaying my confession even when I was quite sure of the need for confession. After fighting for a few days, finally I have decided to run to a priest at the earliest. Thankfully, there was a retreat happening nearby from where I could listen to a teaching on the 10 commandments. Spending some time on reflecting what the preacher said, helped to repent and prepare for a detailed confession. The next day, I walked towards the confession arranged for the retreat participants. As I entered the gate, there came a man who started talking to me and started telling me about myself. I recognized a divine inspiration leading this man to talk about my past, present and future. As I rightly guessed, this man was a spiritual counselor with the gift of knowledge and prophecy. To my surprise, he also hinted at a few of my sins which I wanted to mention in the confession. Immediately he asked me, have you finished your confession today? No, I’ve just come for my confession here. I replied. Then he said, “then go fast and finish it now!” I was totally amazed to see how this unknown man talking out my secret thoughts!!! Wasting no more time, I ran to find a priest to just pour my heavy heart out which is filled with guilt and repentance
While sitting in a time of prayer for a while to list down my infinite sins, I could feel a burning sensation deep in my heart. The urge to make confession had become double now! Finally, my turn came and I approached the priest at the confessional, just started right from the worst of my mistakes. While listening, I saw the priest giving me a beautiful smile. I felt that the intensity of love in his smile was growing as I advanced through my list of sins. At a point, he interrupted to tell me something. This was another surprise now, I just could not believe when the priest started justifying each mistake that I confessed. He also taught me look at these sins from a different perspective. He was helping me to learn how I can face my sinful tendencies next time. Though I tried to prove that I am sinner in those mentioned circumstances, the priest, with another loving smile just comforted me. I remained speechless and realized with reverence that this is JESUS CHRIST sitting at the confessional awaiting me to pour out HIS mercy, forgiveness and strength to overcome my sinful habits. Yes, None other than Jesus can do this! Experiencing a deep peace and relief, I just looked at my pending list of sins. Then the question came from the priest you finished your list” I struggled for a minute trying to remember my sins and finally admitted, “Father, I had a big list of sins while coming but I am not able to remember them now!” Father said “Don’t worry, Jesus forgives all those sins too and he continued with absolving my sins and advising me the penance.
Gratitude and satisfaction filled my heart while leaving the confessional. Yes I met Christ today at the confessional!! It was hard to control my tears as I tried to begin with the the act of contrition. The broken heart and tears formed a new act of contrition there and I felt the Lord pouring out His endless mercy and peace into my life…
Many a times, we don’t really understand the reconciliation process taking place at the confession. When the Lord is waiting with His arms open wide, what is preventing you and me from meeting Him and receiving the unimaginable amount of grace to grow holier in life? Slowly I understood, why St. Augustine cried to God once “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! “ My scattered thoughts took the form of a decision to NEVER delay my confession at any cost!
The Lord assures us mercy and forgiveness when He speaks through Isaiah, 1:18, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” He is our “God who blots out our transgressions for His Name’s sake and remembers our sins no more” – (Isaiah 43:25) A name that contains an ocean of mercy for sinners.
When the whole world tells me that I am a sinner, here comes my savior with a smile of deep love and compassion. He is ready to die for you and me again and again so that our souls may find pardon and mercy. Have you already acknowledged this? If not, I challenge you to try this now! Because I am very sure that Jesus is never late in reaching out to a broken heart….Lets say ‘NO’ to everything that prevents us from entering heaven and say‘YES’ to all that will allow us to joyfully and confidently enter the gates of heaven!
May God’s glory shine upon us today and everyday…!!
